Tag Archives: Wesley Willis

Robots Run On Love


A message from the future courtesy of a psychic

My psychic initiation was a bitch. I was talking to a friend on the phone and she was saying that I was on drugs. I wasn’t on drugs. I had done lots of drugs in my past. This was the present. And I was getting messages from the mutherfucking future.

“What drug can do this?” I asked at the time. “I just got told I was inserted into this timeline to show weird scary future robot people how we loved each other in 2013 and you keep showing them fear and hate.”

I was sweating. I was panicking. I was walking through the streets of downtown Chicago and the world looked like a movie set with a shitty budget. Everything looked so fake. I could see the strings on the birds in the air flapping their puppet wings.

I got arrested that night, I got put in a hospital. I always had enough food and money. I took cab rides. I talked to people. I hope there is footage of the night I was in jail.

I was put in jail for the night and screamed myself to death. Literally, I felt I died. Everything looked and felt so real even though I knew it was fake.

I will share this one vignette with you. Because they all were like little stories to me. I was in the cell and I was looking through the window in the door.

I had been screaming for someone to let me out and I saw a couple of guys with a tripod who were taking my picture. (And I am getting chills as I write this by the way) The camera was very old-fashioned and it sat on top of a modern tripod.

The guys were dressed in modern fashion. They were very good-looking and had the appearance of being male models. Perfect hair, perfect skin. Tight white t-shirts and white slacks. They looked like angels without wings.

I thought they were documenting this because at this point I felt I was going to die in jail. They took my picture several times and I was comforted thinking that people would know what happened to me. But then they took the heavy camera off the tripod and a hole opened up in the floor.

And they dropped the camera in the hole.

Then one of the guys waved goodbye at me and blew me a kiss and jumped in the hole the horror dawning on me. These were angels, but they had been stripped of their wings. And they were taking pictures of the “new guy” and I felt I was in hell. I screamed at the remaining guy, tears streaming down my cheeks. I cannot explain to you the horror. The hopeless horror that this is your existence forever.

The downgraded angel made mocking sobbing motions with his fists up next to his eyes and then he laughed and pointed at me. He picked up the tripod and chucked it into the hole. And after giving me a wave, he jumped in the hole as well as it sealed up behind him.

That night I felt what it was like to die. As I lay on the floor of that cell, I held on as long as I could. I saw the veins in my eyes, I felt the blood stiffen in my veins, and I saw my “light” go out. And in some way, some part of me did die that night. A part I didn’t need anymore.

And even as you are reading this, the robots from the future are learning what it was like to love.


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Further Reading

How my homage to Chicago legend Wesley Willis sent me on a “Warhellride”

 — I am so sorry. I need to make an apology to almost everyone in my life and maybe like 25,000 people in Chicago. I’m a Satirist, not just …

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I am a man with two brains. One in this world and one on the other side.